Feb
United Nations to recruit new era of graduate climatologists after shake up
The United Nations may soon be advertising vacancies due to an unexpected crop of empty seats on its Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC). Events have moved rapidly in recent weeks amongst climate science. But just as quickly as scientific careers disappear — so goes climate science in the blink of an eye, or the melt of a glacier.
We have recently learned of the bigger challenges ahead for former railway engineer, economist and climate expert, Dr. Rajendra Pachauri. The ‘world’s most important climatologist’ is fast gaining recognition as an erotic novelist, proving that he truly is a Renaissance man of worldwide fame. Pachauri has also climbed to the summit as a shrewd energy investor and speculative businessman. He now shows us once again he has the Midas touch as a dab hand peddler of pornography and science fiction. The UN will be sorry to lose his invaluable services.
Internationally, other vacancies may soon transpire within government-funded climatic research institutes. After the success in promoting the science of man-made global warming, top climatologists — such as Penn State University’s Michael Mann and University of East Anglia’s (UEA) Phil Jones –- who recently received a right royal endorsement from none other than Prince Charles for his outstanding contribution to law breaking on epic proportions, are facing new challenges elsewhere.
The IPCC will be encouraging national governments to fill these vacancies immediately with men and women of analogous rectitude and talent. This year is sure to be a wondrous opportunity for ambitious, dedicated and well-qualified climatologists disposed towards close working relations with non-governmental environmental lobby groups such as Greenpeace, Friends of the Earth and the World Wildlife Fund (WWF). Select candidates must possess the minimum requisite academic qualifications, but above all else, they’ll need the right references.
Eager aspirants must have experience in both fictional and non-fictional science with resourcefulness in seamlessly coalescing the two in peer-reviewed publications. Fame and fortune is assured to the most persuasive practitioners of this highly lucrative dark art.
As we have seen in recent times, great innovators in science will have their envious detractors jealously hurling their defamatory slurs. You may know them as that uncouth rabble of vocal planetary misfits, those ungodly sceptics. Such non-believers who must never be allowed to besmirch the great and the good of the IPCC, no sir, no way, so sayeth Mr. US President and Mr. UK Prime Minister.
Anyway, Mammon has its own exquisite way of punishing such sacrilege. Thousands of besmirched and slandered climatologists will all stand in line at court houses and weigh down judges with a plethora of libel suits to cleanse the mouths and empty the pockets of those dastardly deniers. The civil courts are creaking under the rush now, as we speak, in climate claims. Or is that all just another variant of immoral fiction from the petulant pen of Pachauri?
But let’s feel no great sadness for the man once lauded as ‘the world’s most senior climatologist.’ Dr. Pachauri has allegedly already had his private accounts filled by big energy sponsors. Thus goes the old saying: he who has his hands last on the money is usually laughing the loudest.
‘Qualified’ climatologist? No such thing.
But in my mockery, there is a sober point that needs to be made about that discredited brand of IPCC voodoo climatology. Those 1,000+ leaked Climategate emails tell us all we need to know about the integrity and methodologies so beloved of taxpayer funded climate experts.
In recent weeks it’s been left more and more to the politicians, those lovers of cap-and-trade taxation policies to do the eco-fascist dirty work. The Obama’s and Brown’s of this world are such a ham-fisted bunch, too. Instead of focusing on factual debate, they digress off into appealing to this or that ‘authority.’ When us sceptics point them to the latest data that debunks their floundering theory, they’ll retort with statements like, “you’re not qualified to dispute the science, you’re not even a climatologist!”
So climatologists, pray tell, what qualifications do you need other than having your friends pay to publish your work and address you as such? In the interests of honest inquiry let us now examine what it takes to matriculate as an academically qualified climate scientist.
I shall conduct my analysis with true objectivity –- no wiki-peeing here! I’ll Google my facts so there will be no question that I haven’t used the most pro-green Internet search engine for climate alarmist orthodoxy.
My task: to prove that there is no such man or woman as a science graduate in the field of climatology. We can all do this test ourselves. Please try it when you’re alone and bored for five minutes waiting for next ‘gate’ to break.
Go searching for Bachelor of Science courses in climatology and guess what you find? Nothing!
But don’t be outdone –- do what I did — lower your sights and just search for ‘climate courses.’ In Britain I found very meager offerings. I clicked on one link that was Bangor University. Google tells me that Bangor can offer a ‘Part time evening course’ in climatology that has a duration of ’10 weeks.’ That would do very nicely, I thought. I could be signed up, in and out in flash and waving my proof of a climatic qualification quicker than Pachauri can be kicked out and moved on from the chair of the IPCC.
Here is the route, my friends, to science funding heaven. All I now need is a couple of personal character references from a newspaper environmental correspondent or better still, a Greenpeace or WWF activist. After that I’m ready to be fast-tracked to the loot at the next available government funded climatic research post.
But seriously, surely somewhere universities will be offering some bona fide undergraduate courses in the climate science field? I then had my first brainwave: I’ll telephone the Admissions Office of the University of East Anglia, Norwich, England, home of currently suspended Climategate bad boy, Phil Jones, and ask them.
Bingo! I was on to something. I tried not to laugh as the refined tones of a charming lady proudly boasted that the University of East Anglia was the most prestigious university for Environmental Sciences in Britain –- a position it has held for the last 30 years. Still the best of British –- boy, there’s hubris for you!
And she gave me my scoop. Climate science at degree level will be taught in England for the first time later this year! Whoopee! Heavens be praised! I think I was supposed to be impressed. At last the planet has the prospect of one day seeing a handful of graduates who can genuinely call themselves fully qualified climatologists. She eagerly took my name and address and promised me she would ‘pop a prospectus in the post today.’
So all you bright young 18 year-olds, here’s your chance. Britain’s ‘most prestigious’ climate research establishment is now recruiting for the first time ever, so come buy your Bachelor Degree in Climate Science from the Britain’s finest sellers of snake oil.
I felt I was on a roll and now broadened my search internationally. I took a punt at that other disgraced Climategate climatologist, Michael Mann’s university: Penn State, to see what that fine institution could offer a budding climatologist –- nothing. Not even the prospect of a bachelor of science in climatology on the horizon. Plenty of ‘Earth Science’ stuff there and courses for ‘educators’ seeking to add to their ‘knowledge’ on climate issues –- another ‘save the polar bears — hug some trees’ bucket of excrement to plop into the impressionable minds of little kids.
I wondered if perhaps the paucity of climate courses at Penn State had more than a little to do with the fact Michael Mann is not too popular on campus. Not that it is for me to be the first to relate that the mad Mann is known there as “the foolish consistency — the hobgoblin of little minds,” after Ralph Waldo Emerson.
But then those who know the Mann, know he is a counter of tree rings, unable to differentiate between ocean sediments and coral terrestrial deposits. Institutions needing to employ his services can hardly be expected to train enquiring minds in the ways of stochastic calculus, the Wiener process or how to model Brownian motion climate models that have a better rate of climate prediction than me flipping a coin?
But to learn from Mann is at least to know self doubt — that secret angst not revealed by his public personna. The little tree-hugging hobbit needed a hug himself when that nasty British climatologist, Keith Briffa of the UEA stated in those infamous leaked emails that quite frankly our little Mann was wrong about recent warming. Cruel ogre, Briffa sent the head-scratching, diminutive chap into a spin when he announced:
“I believe that the recent warmth was probably matched about 1000 years ago. “
This being such a remarkable statement that seriously undermined the whole ruse that the goblin and his gang must tell all the boys and girls that our modern warm temperatures were “unprecedented.”
Little Mikey responded to this catastrophic development thus:
“I walked into this hornet’s nest this morning! Keith and Phil Jones have both raised some very good points. And I should point out that Chris Folland, through no fault of his own, but probably through me not conveying my thoughts very clearly to the others, definitely overstates any singular confidence I have in my own (Mann and coworkers’) results.“
In other words, Mann has no confidence in his own results! But did he come clean on this revelation? Not on your life! Tut, tut, if we’re not careful here, the whole field of climatology, not just that damned global warming theory, risk being consigned permanently to the dustbin marked ‘incredulous’ along with alchemy and astrology.
I really think our little mischief maker ought to sign up at UEA next Fall –- he might learn something!
Possibly related posts:
Great article. I fear they have an almost unlimited supply of lemmings to fill the jobs. The requirements will be answer the following questions:
1. Do you belive Al Gore is your God?
2. Do you beleive in AGW?
3. Do you have a pulse?
4. Have you ever had an original thought?
If yes is answered to 1,2,3 and no is answered to 4, you’re hired!
I’m sure the alarmists will respond with something like: “although there’s no qualification with the actual title of ‘climatologist’, there are those of us who consider ourselves to be, since we have expertise in all the relevant areas”.
Then again, I’m also sure that there are many that can claim that title, that are *not* in the pockets of mega-dollar government funding (which makes fossil fuel company funding a blip by comparison) that are charged with finding AGW only.
There’s one thing for sure: it doesn’t take a climatologist to find glaring errors in their methods.
Tallfish, your libtard rhetoric does nothing for me. Do you ever actually have facts? Or, do you just blather on like a good little Al Gore lemming and cast aspersions? Reminds me of Steve Menne….lots of hot air and nothing pertinent to add to the conversation.
Read this one…fits you to a “T”
http://www.climategate.com/youre-all-terracidal-maniacs-and-you-need-to-be-punished
UEA running ‘climate courses’ might sound OK. BUT – who the hell is going to teach them, where are the text books and papers (genuinely peer reviewed of course) to learn from ?? Not a lot of hope methinks.
Does anybody seriously think UEA/CRU would risk grant money by employing the ‘right’ person for the job, or is it the start of some conspiracy theory to flood the scientific world with a new generation of climate alarmists.
What’s stopping another group of professional climate scientists to be formed? Seems we need more than one. There are plenty of quality independent weather stations, there’s a system already developed to forward all the data from those sites to a repository.
Don’t laugh, the best and cheapest counter to all of this insanity may be to create your own Climate Science studies, and I think there are many retired engineers and professionals that would volunteer their time.
Hi John a MSM comment on our Dept of Climate Change http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/opinion/reshuffle-the-way-to-save-face-on-copenhagen/story-e6frg6zo-1225825667669
which says that Dept is not about climate change at all. It is a front for a powerful and intrusive tax-gathering operation designed to capitalise on a politically driven sense of guilt in the community that mankind must pay the price for causing global warming.
I am hoping my open letter which I sent to the Editor of the Australian and which referred in detail to the wording on that site might have had some influence; anyway thanks for the publication
I sent in a comment on the story but unfortunately they didn’t publish it
Val, this would make a good article for the site. I’d love to run it. I’ve just written three articles already today. I’m getting a bit of Repetitive Strain Injury in my fingers with the rush of all this climate news! lol. I’ll suggest to admin. that we do something on the Australian situation very soon.
The soon to be ex IPCC staff don’t have to worry about being out of jobs. They can always write porn novels. :-/
I now feel quite well qualified and didn’t know it. Back in 1965 I studied Climatology for 13 weeks as part of my degree course at Edin Univ. I don’t remember a great deal about it but it didn’t seem like an emerging branch of physics. I recall everyone was concerned about the ‘unprecendented’ cooling and the arrival of a new ice age.
There are excellent sites including climatedepot and tomnelson exposing the climate fraud, but there is no website showing the sequence and details of each specific event.
It really is impossible right now for journalists and the public to find one source that is a compendium of what is happening. The serious issues that get brought up by researchers at wattsupwiththat and climataudit should be timelined. This all started with climategate and climategate really is much more than climategate CRU UEA it is about everything else in this climate scare fraud. It would be great to see climategate.com to show that list of errors based all around the climate debate.
List & timeline:
1. Climategate … Nov 2009
2. Penn State – Michale Mann Dec 2009
3. Glaciergate…
4. Nasa …
5. Amazongate…
6. Boot cleaning guide
7. Pachaurigate
8. NYTimes power outage
9. NZ raw data set lost
While the list is much longer than above, it would be great to be able to point people to a complete list of the problems associated with the global warming fraud to put it into perspective that it is not just a single page in a couple thousand page report that is a problem. It is hard to see the bigger picture.
Controversial climate change boss uses car AND driver to travel one mile to office… (but he says YOU should use public transport)
He is the climate change chief whose research body produced a report warning that the glaciers in the Himalayas might melt by 2035 and earned a Nobel Prize for his work – so you might expect Dr Rajendra Pachauri to be doing everything he can to reduce his own carbon footprint.
But as controversy continued to simmer last week over the bogus ‘Glaciergate’ claims in a report by the UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change – which he heads – Dr Pachauri showed no apparent inclination to cut global warming in his own back yard.
On Friday, for the one-mile journey from home to his Delhi office, Dr Pachauri could have walked, or cycled, or used the eco-friendly electric car provided for him, known in the UK as G-Wiz. …
…
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1247376/Controversial-climate-change-boss-uses-car-AND-driver-travel-mile-office—says-YOU-use-public-transport.html
A beauty from the Press Trust of India / New Delhi February 02, 2010 quoting Dr Pachauri
On allegations over scientific errors regarding Amazon forests and disappearing of ice in world’s mountain peaks, he said, “The IPCC is correct on its claim on both issues.”
Now Dr Pachauri has veered from the real scientific consensus and is contradicting the politicians who are desperately trying to save his skin.
Global Warming is Dr Pachauri. Dr Pachauri is busted.
He should remain in charge of the IPCC, because it can never become anything other than a laughing stock under his leadership.
I agree that we should count and even weigh all the errors in the IPCC submissions but it is not enough. The political elite can swat those criticisms and still refer to the science as being settled. The only way to hole the warmists below trhe waterline is to show that the key alarmist players have been deliberately and systematically falsifying the global temperature record to support a lie. Even tax hungry politicians will have to think twice.
Note this is already posted here, Thanks!
“We’ve told so many lies, young scientists are totally confused”
http://climaterealists.com/?id=4960
Edit note: John, only a person can be “incredulous”. It’s a state of mind, like “credulous”. I think what you (and many others who misuse that term) are reaching for is “incredible”, = unbelievable = non-credible.
Damn! My bad. And I thought I’d proof read it pretty well, too! Thanks, Brian.
1.United Nations should be advertising good decent honest auditors to fine audit every operation of the UN and its hundreds of offshoots.
2.Next UN should hire good professional liquidators to liquidate its assets and bring the whole scam we have come to know as UN to a well-deserved end end.
The world will be a better place with plenty of Carbon Dioxide to genarate much more plant growth and MOTHER EARTH will be saved from the machinations of the half-witted and dishonest “scientists and engineers”
Hear, hear!
I wish to volunteer for a climate scientists post,I look great in a beard and can’t use Fortran 77 at all .
I have a suggestion for the HELP WANTED at the IPCC.
First, I must mention that I live in the Great White North.
Edmonton Alberta, Canada, is one of the most northerly large urban centres in the world.
We have been having VERY cold weather here this winter. A few days ago it was -40 degrees Celsius [about the same in degrees F BTW].
With the wind chill factor it was -51 C.
Of course that is at the airport. The city centre is about 5/10 degrees warmer. Yes we have an UHI effect her all year long. When it is -40,all the furnaces in Edmonton are running 24/7. Believe it. There is a heat bubble. But even so, on cannot get on their bike and ride out to the country with a thermometer to check the UHI, because you will turn into a block of ice within about two blocks. [exposed flesh freezes in less than 5 minutes at -51 C]
We have been waiting for global warming here for quite some time. Al Gore is starting to tick me off.
But, back to the Help Wanted.
Up here, we have our own Indian Chief that predicts the weather and climate. He is not really an Indian, because old Chris Columbus in 1492 made a mistake and called the natives Indians. NOW they are aboriginals. Our Aboriginal Chief Buffalo Chip from Fort Saskatchewan here was asked last fall what the winter would be like.
He said “VERY cold.”
“Was it because the animals had thicker fur?” i asked.
“No” he replied.
“Was it because the mountain ash trees had more berries?” I queried.
“No” he said.
“Well then, how do you klnow we will have a very cold winter”
” Because” said Chief Buffalo Chip, “White man chop lottsa wood”
Now, if that doesn’t qualify him for a position with the IPCC CRU, then nothing will.
One correction, Al (nGtg): -40 is PREZAKLY the same in °C and °F.
BTW, if you want to know how to do that cool degrees symbol (°), hold down the Alt key and enter 0176 on the numeric keypad. (The kb numbers don’t work, for some reason.)
For ¢, do the same, but enter 155. And so on.
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